I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.