Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!