I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
