Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
