You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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