At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
