Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
