You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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