i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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