I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
