i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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