so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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