okay pat passed out under dana's car
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
