he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
