I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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