i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I think my moral compass just broke
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