I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
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