We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
