your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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