shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize