He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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