I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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