I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.