I wanna bring you to show and tell
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."