I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?