oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
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how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
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Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.