I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I AM VODKA MAN
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken