It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
