mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize