I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
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