i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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