Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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