you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
