After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
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don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
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i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize