But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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