well I can't set my house on fire every night
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
