one two three fourrrrnication!
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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