clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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