this just has baby written all over it
He called his prostate his "boner button".
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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