hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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