I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
