I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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