I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
