before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
