YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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