Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Randomize
