you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
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He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
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My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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