Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
