U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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