No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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