Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
