I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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