on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
