If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
