party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
