The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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