I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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