we're blogging at a bar
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
