he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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