yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
