I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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