I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
