where does the pee come out of this thing
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
