I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
