Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He shit in the fireplace
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
There's even glitter on my cock...
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