How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
