and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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