I hate all girls vehemently.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i need to put some appletini on your dick
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
