how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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